Abstract
This first half of a memoir follows me through childhood and adolescence in Los Angeles, California, watching the same scenery out the car window as seen in movies and on television, and then into my twenties as I attempt to make sense of what I learned life would be through television. Growing up in front of screens in the absence of my parents, two former film-makers turned hard-working professionals in law and finance, and both on-and-off recovering alcoholics, I attempt to uncover secrets around myself and my family, Hollywood, and addiction; to understand what it means to recover; and to define with some clarity where my reality begins and celluloid fantasy ends.